It’s the least wonderful time of the year…

Sorry I haven’t been on for awhile… and sorry this post is so Eeyore-ish…

The young man is under his usual dark cloud this NYEE, but there is a small spark of optimism on his radar. He feels that if he can just get to the 2nd week of January, his life may even out a bit, so a weight or two can fall off his shoulders. He is going to have to sacrifice for the next month, and he is so numb that he could care less to worry about what he won’t have.

I so used to love the holidays… I lived for Fall, which was my own personal lead-in to the holidays… Man, how times have changed. I think this decline may have began in the mid 90s, when my mom passed away in October. I was going through a divorce at the time, and simultaneously courting my new wife. I still professed my love for Autumn, but subconsciously I didn’t care for it as much. Then I got separated right after new year’s 1 year later. My love for the season continued to diminish. I will spare you all the details, but the 3rd trimester of the year has pretty much sucked for the past 7 or so years (losing a house, dropping to one income, moving in with in-laws, repeatedly dancing with separation and divorce and fighting with my wife, all while raising 3 children under the age of 6).
So the 2010 holiday season is just about over, and I couldn’t be happier. I overspent at Christmas, and now I have to play major catch-up (see paragraph 1), I think I may be depressed, I got a ton of electronics for Christmas (a digital tablet/reader, a new phone, iPod speakers and DJ equipment) but returned all but one thing (love the HTC EVO), and I found out that the fairer sex is less than forthcoming with their “gifts” when they do not feel financially secure, so I see a few weeks of heavy sleeping in my future. Go on and marinate on that for a minute…

I am typing this post at work (we are kind of slow…), and I keep getting phone calls where the callers end with “you have a happy new year!” I get that this is just a customary call closing for December 30, but I am taking it to heart, and it’s pissing me off a little. Happy about what? Granted, I have a wife and 3 little mini-me’s that love me unconditionally, but aside from them and an onslaught of new (to me, anyway) CDs to listen to (Ghostface Killah, Diddy-Dirty Money, Janelle Monae, Broken Bells, Gorillaz, Mayer Hawthorne, R. Kelly and DJ Mark Farina), I have very little to be happy for this New Year’s Eve.

Again, I'm sorry for the gloom. I'll be back once I'm better...

Wait - did I say I was optimistic??????