Monday, September 30, 2013

When The Young Man Met Facebook: A Love/Hate Story

Mmm-hmm... That's right...
so... facebook...

don't get me wrong - it was a great concept, the movie was awesome, but the young man and facebook have (had) this weird love/hate relationship. she is a fickle b***h. or am i the fickle one? anyhoo...

people are (or should i say were? for all i know, facebook has gone the way of myspace, napster and yakov smirnoff... remember him? no? *sigh* it sucks getting old...) always telling me to use facebook for marketing my warez (like this, and this), but in reality, she (facebook) has so many seductive tricks up her digital sleeve...

here - let me tell you a story...

it starts out all innocent like:

facebook: oh look - you can tell people about all the stuff you are working on... and you can check up on your friends from high school/college/life before the wife and kids... no big deal!

tym: yeah... wait - i have a ton of other shit to do. i'll check it out for a minute or two.

time passes...

fb: hey, where you been? your best friend from college saw you out here, and is asking about you...

tym: really? how's he doing? wait - he is friends with this person whom i swore was the devil and would never acknowledge again. fuck this - not enough degrees of separation for me. i'm out.

fb: okay, that makes sense. by the way, how's the job hunt going? those employment services you use are on here. just use me for marketing and job searches. we won't even worry about the rest. and here - play this word game. and look at what your favorite rapper, your old manager from that one job, your ex and that comedian you like have to say about that tv show you saw...

tym: well, okay...

more time passes...

fb: i am so sorry that you have to work so hard to put your family back together because i got you and your ex re-connected and your wife had a problem with that. my bad. i promise it wont happen again. just marketing. and sneaker info (i know how much you like sneakers). and motivational quotes, videos of your favorite bands, cute baby and puppy videos (you like cute babies and puppies!) and movie stuff. promise!

tym: well, okay...

and finally...

fb: hey - what's going on? i thought you and the mrs had everything back on track? oh... sorry... uh, why do you have to unfriend all of the females on your friends list? it's not like you're... well, okay. we'll just focus on marketing. and sneakers. and your boy's photography. you know he shoots and manages bikini models, right?

tym: fuck you. i'm done. stop calling/emailing me.

fb: what? you need me! you're gonna be considered irrelevant without me! i'm not worried - you'll be back. they all come back. just give it time... you can't live without me!

aaaand that's the story of my latest major breakup. sorry facebook (and facebook friends), i'm sick of this. i can't do it anymore.

2 fingers,

tym

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

suit & tie... kinda.

There's a handsome devil...
greetings and salutations! the young man is back, giving you the 411 on what will (hopefully) be the first of a long series of positive updates.

this post is entitled "suit & tie", because it is introducing you to the young man's professional side, the yin to this blog's yang. the new website is http://wrfranklin.wix.com/waynefranklin, and it showcases who i am and what i have done. please check it out, and leave comments. you know how the young man enjoys getting e-mail. every day is Christmas, and every night is new years eve...

thanks for your time.

-tym

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Dr. youngman, Or: How I Learned to Stop Being Mediocre and Love Jill Scott (Again)

oh, jill...
I've always had a big crush on Jill Scott. I used to listen to Who Is Jill Scott? Words and Sounds, Volume 1 night and day. Yet after a while, I started to feel guilty, like I was doing something wrong. Then it became something like porn. It was like I had to sneak to listen to WIJS in order to enjoy it, and it never ever made any sense (until recently that is). I felt like whenever I listened to it I was cheating on my wife and I never questioned it, I just knew it was wrong (unfortunately, I do know exactly what it feels like to cheat on your significant other. It's not something I'm proud of, but I do know what it feels like, and that combination of guilt, desire and shame would cloak me whenever I played that album). I likened her album to the Marilyn Manson album with The Beautiful People on it. The production on that album is phenomenal, but being a good Christian kid, I could never, in good conscience own an album called Antichrist Superstar.

Finally, I decided to figure out why this was an issue for me, why I felt the way I felt about Jill Scott, a seemingly innocent R&B singer whom I happen to think is beautiful. Here's what I came up with:

1. Jill Scott is quite attractive to me. Ilikebiggirlsandicannotlie. Kind of like being a fan of... Pamela Anderson Lee. For some, Pamela Anderson Lee is at the top of the food chain, as far as superstars go, not my cup of tea though. I believe Ms. Lee’s fans strictly focus on her body and her beauty, while for me and Jill; it would be beauty and brains. But I digress...

2. Jill Scott is a creative, reason enough for me to feel the way I feel towards her. I am attracted to the things that she actually says. Her words mean a lot to me, seeing as how I am a word person (I'm a writer - sue me). The way she describes love and the feeling of love, the way she makes me feel without ever having met her… these things draw me in. She made me long to have those words spoken directly to me. Her songs are filled with things I would love to hear somebody say to me which is why her music works. She says things that I not only would like to hear, but I honestly felt like I deserved to hear. And I know that's a bold statement, to say I deserve anything like that. But here's the deal: after being on this planet nearly 45 years, it's time for me to start demanding certain things. And I feel like I deserve to have that s*** in my life. At the time, Jill was meeting a need that was not previously being met, and that's why I felt so bad for listening to her. Ah, freedom...

The thing is, this new knowledge carries over into other parts of my life, and addresses other issues. Like mediocrity. For years I have settled for whatever. And that's just wrong. While mediocrity is unnecessary and it sucks ass, years of passivity have allowed me to be mediocre. It's kind of like if Michael Jordan, knowing how good he is at basketball, decided “no, I'm just going to work at Baskin Robbins.”

When people settle for the b******* that they are handed, and accept it, that is making mediocrity the norm. And it is not normal. It’s wrong. “My talent is real yet I'm going to pretend that it’s just... Some kind of a hobby, or a f****** past time…” Wrong. “I know that the way you feel about me is real, and every single thing you do for me is from the heart, yet in order to keep up appearances, I'm going to pretend that I feel the exact same way around you until it's too much for me then I'll treat you like you have the f****** plague.” Wrong. “I know I have an anxiety problem, and my doctor prescribed medicine for me to help combat that anxiety problem, and in order to keep up appearances I will let everyone know I've been prescribed this medicine and I'm taking it. However, I will only take it when I feel like I need it. Not when the doctor says, because I know better than the doctor.” Wrong.

Why do we continually settle for mediocrity? Being mediocre is a choice. I know this, because I settle for it too. But it's time to stop, folks. God doesn't even want us to be mediocre. He wants us to be the best we can be. The Bible says that He wants us to have life and have it more abundantly. That means not settling for scraps. Yet some of us go through life, saying well this is the hand that I've been dealt so this is all I can do. No more. It's time to have a new hand dealt to us. We need a new dealer. Or maybe a new game. Mediocrity is the debble, people. Be yourself. Be great. Do what you were put here to do. I know I’m going to. I’m also putting Jill Scott’s album back on my iPod.

-tym