thanks (parental discretion is advised...)

hello. so yeah, its been a minute since i have been here. sorry about that. and sorry for what you are about to read. and if i dont just delete this before posting it (or at least edit it), sorry for the language.

*ahem...*

to whom it may concern,

the holiday season is upon us, and based solely upon the things i have been going through for the last couple of months, id like to say thank you, for your part. allow me to expound...

thanks for helping me to learn just how much stress one man can handle before he starts eyeing oncoming traffic, sleeping pills, razor blades and butcher knives.

thanks for helping me realize the gut wrenching embarrassment of sobbing uncontrollably in front of a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old.

thank you for sharing with a fucking service provider the bullshit i am going through, and not letting me know that you shared that with her. its always nice when some fucking minor player in my life has first-hand knowledge of just how fucked up my life is.

thank you for the execution-style murder of my inner child. he's gone, and you are to blame. actually, i am to blame for letting you kill him.

thanks for causing me to abhor my favorite time of year. or any time of year.

thanks for giving new, non-sexual meanings for the words insatiable and tease.

thank you for helping me to dispel a preconceived notion i have always had. i didnt realize that the people on the suicide prevention hotline would talk to you even if you werent actually in the process of killing yourself.

thank you for helping me realize the goal of being a living, breathing black woody allen character. i am the african-american george costanza/kevin james (in hitch)/paul reiser/woody allen. i am the chocolatey manifestation of the word neurotic. and i have a shrink to prove it.

thanks for never finishing anything you start.

thanks for giving me the opportunity to learn that when you take an exacto knife apart, there are extra sharp replacement blades inside the handle.

thanks for allowing me to expand my number of drugs taken daily from 3 to 5, with the addition of two anti-depressants. better living through chemistry, right?

thank you for helping to keep mountain workers employed, through continued molehill conversion.

thank you for showing me how much more important a facebook chat is than a supposed loved one's untimely demise by his own hand. who knew?

thank you for wiping your ass with my feelings.

thanks for hurting me and liking it.

-tym