Friday, December 7, 2012

hurt.

"...(this is) the realest sh*t i ever wrote..." - the late Fatima Carter (in an instant message to the young man, circa 2008)



i have been stung by bees.
i destroyed my knee in 9th grade dancing like prince.
my favorite cousin died.
my grandparents died.
my best friend's mom died.
my "stepmom" died.
my creative friend died.

these are all examples of pain. people experience pains of all kinds all the time.

this week, i realized the difference between pain and hurt.

hurt is the extremely painful feeling of loss and confusion that you cant do anything about.

hurt is watching your mom die two steps behind you while walking in the hospital, when about a week before then she was out shopping.
hurt is listening to your 1-year-old moan "no" while he lays in the hospital after his second open heart surgery, and not being able to take his pain away.
hurt is investing your heart and soul and life into something (or someone) and having that thing or person  taken away from you for absolutely no reason; asking questions and getting no answers, or acknowledgement that a question was even asked.
hurt is feeling so lost and empty that you feel dead, but you dont get the benefit of actual death, you just get to feel it while walking around.
hurt is having everything you love and anticipate about your favorite time of year snatched away from you, but still having to experience that time of year.
crying when youre hurt is the most draining thing ever. when you cry from hurt, you have to stop yourself from crying because you feel you could cry forever.

the young man hurts. pray for him, please.